thrifting

Do you ever just sit and fret about all the things that you’ve overlooked in thrift shops? And all the things I missed during the years I didn’t even GO TO THRIFT SHOPS?!

The ideal adventure is to visit these shops alone but I usually have the kids with me and so it turns into a HEY KIDS FOCUS ON THESE TOYS while I quickly try to browse everything.

I found a stack of books today along with some miscellaneous toys and dishes.

 

things to be happy about

* 78 degree weather
* The feel of hot grass under my bare feet
* Exploring antique shops with Daniel over lunch
* Blanket forts and stacks of books
* Windchimes enjoying the wind gusts
* The cool underside of a pillow
* An impromptu nap
* Listening to Amelia sing her numbers to the tune of the alphabet song

in my skin and bones

I spent this morning curled up with Hunger, by Roxane Gay. It is the most powerful memoir I have ever read and it’s the most validating book I’ve ever read about living in a body like mine. One that is considered unruly. Unacceptable to culture.

Gay writes about living as a fat woman and about the gang rape she experienced as a 12 year old that perpetuated her weight gain. It’s not a weight-loss story concluding with conquering pain and finding triumph. Her distressing account and the difficult steps she’s taken to heal are raw and gritty.

I appreciate finding someone else who feels that contradictory space as a body-positive feminist who also wants to lose weight. Not for pleasing diet culture or anyone around us but for ourselves. Our tired selves.

It also made me ponder how much my own “weight issues” (isn’t that the worst phrase? ugh!) have been obviously and not-so-obviously influenced by trauma. I’ll be the first to admit that fried okra and sweet tea have made me the woman I am in So Many Ways but perhaps the reason why I reached for those things so much was deeper than just being undisciplined as I’ve always assumed.

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Roxane Gay speaks to my soul when she says “I have tried to make peace with this body. I have tried to love or at least tolerate this body in a world that displays nothing but contempt for it.” 

I don’t need to reach a certain number but I want to find that place where I have the most energy and where I find a quiet calm. And where food isn’t a battle. Just a simple nourishing act that can be celebrated without any mind-games.

I want to feel comfortable in my skin and bones.

life lately

It’s Spring here in the Upstate and my children are in the trees and sniffing flowers. And learning about pollen.

We often play with chalk on the roads in The Valley (painting or drawing or spraying) and last week Drew found a ton of “yellow chalk” on the road to Grammy’s house and he was very confused because he knew none of us had done it.

“ARE GRAMMY AND POPPY PLAYING WITH CHALK?”

“…that’s pollen, sweetie.”

~

Drew is in the last 8 weeks of 5th grade and is soaking every bit of it up. This is the last year he will have “recess” (he still gets free time in Middle School) and he’s nervous about the extra structure and huge complex of buildings he will navigate next year.

Daniel and I attended a parents meeting at the Middle School last night and I was flabbergasted at how TECH and COOL it is. This building is actually where my mom graduated from high school. It has glorious hard wood floors from 1939 but now it also has over 100 security cameras and the entire campus is enclosed vs. open air. They also have a MAC lab with over 30+ new iMacs. Drool. They have a STEM/robotics lab where they design things like prosthetics and they even have a medical detective lab where they study “crime scenes.” And a beautiful art studio with a kiln!

Interestingly, Drew wants to do band this year (he has NEVER wanted to play a musical instrument before and that’s so weird because both of our families have always been highly musical) and after trying out all the instruments in the band, he has settled on the flute! 😛 I’m secretly happy he chose that because it’s what I played for years and also, it is not a huge instrument he will have to lug around. Whew.

Middle school for my kids will just be so different than what I experienced. I was more focused on after school jolly ranchers that you could buy in Late Stay than anything even remotely near what Drew will get to experience.

Amelia turns 4 in November so she misses the deadline for Kindergarten this year. She is dying to go to school so I’m currently researching preschools in our area. I didn’t think I’d go that route mostly because we have two grandmothers (who were teachers) within walking distance of our home and I imagined lovely afternoons where she would sit with counting bears and alphabet cards. But my daughter has taught herself everything she needs to know for Kindergarten already just because of the kids’ iPad games (!) and she’s on the verge of reading now. So preschool for her will be about social activities I suppose.

~

Daniel recently moved out of the co-working space he was using downtown Greenville and now he has a private office about 7 minutes from our house! I am so happy for him that he can have more of quiet space for meetings and a place to call his own. It’s also a plus that he can come home for lunch now or we can meet up at a local restaurant.

long time no see

If you are spending days in the forest with your kids, exploring and making memories, does it even count if you aren’t writing about it online?

NO. It does not. (JOKE)

But honestly, time is swooshing by at a rate that takes my breath and I miss writing about my life. Sure, for posterity, but it’s also a lovely way to reflect and focus on where I am in life.

If memory serves me correctly, all you need to start a blog is the Internet + Italian opera + Coke Zero. At least, that was always my recipe. So here I am. Here we go.